1840 - Polack, J. S. Manners and Customs of the New Zealanders [Vol. I.] [Capper reprint, 1976] - Chapter XII

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CHAPTER XII

THE marked difference in the two amalgamated races that comprise the population in New Zealand, is more remarkable in the female sex than in the males. The Malay is easily distinguished by her regular and not unhandsome features; hair long, and of jetty blackness and profusion; teeth regular, the extreme whiteness being set off by the unpleasant fashion of staining blue lines on the lips, a practice now becoming obsolete. The forms of

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these females are often found to be very handsome, and calculated to interest the traveller in the welfare of the person. The opposite race are more numerous, possessing the hair in spiral twists, ebony complexion, flat nose, full lip, and projecting mouth, that is recognised in the natives of Papua and Africa. Women in New Zealand are not held in the sole light as being creatures of convenience, and consequently victims to the unceasing caprice and ungovernable passions of the men, as forms a prominent characteristic among the inhabitants of the Australasian Archipelagos. Among the established native families, a bride or sister demands fully as much persuasive eloquence from the male supplicant as most ladies are accustomed to exact in civilized countries; and during courtship the intended Benedict has been heard to utter language imbued with a refinement of sentiment that has fully substantiated the fact, that where woman possesses that influence in society which is her due, whether regarded as the affectionate mother, the kind sister, the loving bride, devoted wife, or officiating nurse, whose intense anxiety on the suffering, imparts yet more interest to her character, the civilization of a nation progresses. It has been justly stated, that where the education of women is neglected, a nation can be but half happy. In Europe, their influence in politics is unseen to the sight, but are nevertheless the soul itself of almost every undertaking, their secret influence being the

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spirit of nature . The warlike Spartans were governed by their females. In note 59 we have related the mighty efforts of the Ethiopian king, to keep the political bias of the ladies of his kingdom within bounds.

The superior civilization of the New Zealanders compared to the Australians, (the most degraded of the human race,) arises from the different treatment of their females, and history has invariably taught us the assertion, that absolutely the rise, progress, and decline of nations, has depended principally on the treatment of the weaker sex, which has consequently shaped their conduct in social life. These truisms are rarely admitted to their full extent, or how much the very manners and even politics of an age depend upon the domestic conduct of women. Man is certainly superior to the sex in physical force, but in mental fortitude, refinement and elevation of sentiment, his inferiority admits not of contradiction. The modest reserve 1 and decorum observed by the New Zealand female is invariably evinced before strangers by a timidity and pleasing bashfulness that must compete with

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similar feelings that distinguish ladies in the most civilized circles of Europe. 2 This reserve is car-

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ried to such an excess, that the writer when travelling in the various villages of the people, was always received by the ladies with their heads enveloped in their garments; and often when habited in one small mat, the wearers have been put to the utmost stretch of their inventions to conceal their heads and faces, and yet keep other objects inviolate from the gaze of a stranger. In bathing, which is often performed by a number of young females in company, great care is taken that none of the male sex should disturb their amusement, and should a

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prying Acteon break the prohibition, sea-weed and any material in reach, is placed so as to guard the person from intrusive glances. Often when we have met with travelling parties, the ladies hastily covered themselves, though to European ideas, such trouble would appear wholly uncalled for, as some of them had passed the grand climacteric, independent of being repulsively unbearable from being rubricated with the offensive odours arising from rancid shark-oil, and carrying a portion of foetid Indian corn for provision. Such charms, of course, could not have attracted the most wanton eye, or shake a bachelor's opinion in favour of celibacy.

The females of the superior (Malay) race, have in general clear olive complexions, and in numerous instances, much pretension to beauty. They are fully alive to the attraction of their persons, and are not wanting in employing such means to improve their persons as the primitive nature of a native boudoir will admit. They are cleanly in their persons, and delight in coquetry, and among the higher families love, not money, is required, to render them propitious, as is often the case among nations yet more civilized. But such imprudence is not participated in by the parents, who look to the rank and means the lover may possess, and much depends whether the lady is required to fill the place of head-wife, or second, third, fourth, and so on in the list. Of marriages there may be said to be three systems in vogue; the contract formed with the

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first wife being pre-distinct from any after connexion, when the females are generally under the domination of the first; and, lastly, handmaids, or women raised from slavery to the marital embrace. Marriages take place very early in life, 3 and affiances or betrothals, often take place among friends before the objects spoken of see the light.

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Among brothers and relatives, in order to cement and perpetuate friendship, it is often arranged that if the one party has a girl and the other a male child, their marriage shall take place at an early period. The writer was often requested by elderly chiefs and their wives to allow their daughters, children perhaps, five years of age, to be affianced to a son or younger brother, inquiring of us if we could accommodate their paternal wishes with either, and promising that the most rigid tapu should be placed over the young lady when she should arrive at years of discretion, and that nothing short of a refusal should militate against the tapu with which she would become invested. In one instance fearful that the friendship thus begun should decay from the lapse of years that would intervene between the consummation of their wishes and the present moment, we were requested to take to wife a lady related to the chief, whose rank was observable from the dignity and gracefulness of her demeanour, and the care she had taken of her person; as in beauty of countenance, complexion and feature, reminded the European spectator of the beauteous women of the Moors and Spaniards. This offer was termed the perpetuation of friendship . 4

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At sixteen a female without her lover is regarded as an old maid, a character regarded, at best, (in New Zealand) with much suspicion. 5 At be-

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trothals a handsome feast is provided by the family of the lady. Too near an affinity is carefully guarded against, and the marriage or intercourse between brother and sister, or nephew and aunt, would meet with as much animadversion as in Europe. 6

Betrothing generally takes place before the children are enabled to judge for themselves, the parents expecting, from the unrestricted intercourse that takes place among families, that to direct the inclinations of their children is sufficient; the influ-

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ence of parental remonstrances seals such affiances, and the parties, the male at fifteen, and the female at ten and eleven, commence cohabitation, and not unfrequently become parents within the year. In marriages resulting from betrothal the inclination of the female is rarely consulted, and despite of any aversion she may conceive against her future spouse, she must submit. Many females at the age of five years have been affianced to some old men rather fitted to fill the relationship of great-grandparents than lovers; yet on arriving at an age suitable to native opinion, the espousals have taken place. In some instances the lady has eloped with a lover, whose agility has outstripped or set at defiance that of the old pantaloon; but though unable personally to pursue the chase after such Gretna-Green alliances, his means or rank has armed a host in his service of relatives and retainers. On the parties being discovered, each receive a sound castigation, if the lover be of rank, but should he belong to an inferior family, he is either robbed of all he may possess, or murdered; the old discarded lover then takes the lady, without being particularly annoyed at the trick played upon his honour, proving, as Shakspeare has it, "The lunatic, the lover, and the poet are of a nature all compact."--Midsummer Nights' Dream , A.5, S.1.

If a native lady has two or more lovers, rank and precedence is often preferred; but should she feel impartial, without bestowing a preference, a feud

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takes place between the lovers, assisted by their relatives, and the conqueror seizes the lady, as the Romans of old obtained their Sabine wives. We witnessed many such marriages; they generally take place early in the morning, the disputants enforcing their claims on the evening previous. At one period, while courting the behest of Morpheus, we were awoke by a loud din and scuffle among the villagers, who were running about in great confusion, armed with clubs, tomahawks, cartridge-boxes, belted round the waist, and fighting in flying groups with each other. Many severe blows were taken and returned in good earnest. After this combat had continued about half-an-hour, the weaker party gave in, and the victors celebrated their prowess by shouting and dancing, in which the vanquished afterwards joined. The bridegroom then conducted the lady to his hut, the priest gave his blessing, (consisting of a hope that the marriage would turn out prosperous,) and the parents of the lady indulged the family of the bridegroom with a feast, in which the subject of love and war was discussed with the oratorical displays those people delight in. At these hymenean rites the rivals appeared to have dropped all animosity: some lyrics were sung by the old people, that savoured much of the lax strains the natives are wont to indulge in. The amorous deeds of youth were recounted with monstrous exaggerations by the old men, who informed their audience that the females of "their

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day" were unable to withstand their invincible attractions. It is customary for these hoary satyrs to apportion a part of the feast for such strangers as sojourn with them. In many of these scuffles the females often fare badly, the friends on one side trying to detain her, the Tarquins on the other side being equally desirous of securing the object. The general and approved form of marriage is extremely simple; when the proposed union takes place, the lover conducts the lady to his hut, and the wife thus introduced into her house never quits it but as mistress of the place. The property of her husband becomes equally her own, and the same feeling of mutual intercourse follows this primitive ceremony as among civilized people. The most singular part of the ceremony follows; the marriage is no sooner consummated than a party of friends (nearest in relation to both husband and wife) attack the hut, rob the place of every moveable article, and often leaving the inmates nearly personally naked; a sound drubbing is also bestowed on both parties. All the provisions they may possess, though comprising the winter stock, are entirely taken away by the remorseless marauders. This ceremony is not confined to the rite of marriage, but on an occasion of any misfortune befalling a person, he is also made to suffer the severity of the law. The ceremony of marriage differs from a state of concubinage inasmuch as the lover steals to the hut of his mistress, but should he

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take her to his house, the marriage is complete. 7 64 In cases where the young people leave the subject to the experience of their parents, the old people debate on "settlements," similar to civilized marriage-brokers. 8 On the part of the gents, they are as flippant and forgetful of their moralities in their converse as the privilege of age will permit; whereas, the females rate the speakers for introducing such palpable inuendoes. When a village beau becomes desirous of addressing an object of adoration, he generally waits the opportunity of the

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coast being clear of the parents and friends. On such occasions, if he lays his plans well, he becomes successful; but we have seen females who have disliked such wooers, 9 resist with a determination perfectly amazonian, especially when the lover has been of the same rank in society. Weddings are never entered into during the lying in state of a deceased chief, nor even for some time after his obsequies have been performed.