1840 - Polack, J. S. Manners and Customs of the New Zealanders [Vol. I.] [Capper reprint, 1976] - Chapter XIII

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CHAPTER XIII.

MARRIAGES are rarely entered into if any of the relatives of the parties should have lately died. 1

The absolute meaning of chastity in New Zealand has wholly a different signification from that given in civilized society. We have mentioned that the modesty and reserve of the young females

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induce them to retire from the gaze of a stranger. 2 Yet an unmarried female may indulge in any liaison without committing any solecism on the manners of the country. 3 Many married men have boasted to us of their wives having before marriage been deemed sufficiently attractive to become the wives pro tem , of Europeans, and Kaka, the principal chief of Kaihu, actually counted with the tip of his fingers, the number of shipping his wife had frequented for the purpose of distributing her favours; as the number progressed, the old man stroked his well-bearded face with much glee, appealing to the sum-total, as undeniable proofs of the charms his wife had possessed, of which some remains were certainly visible.

The reports of transient travellers, some of whom, actually tarried on board ship nearly a week, within a New Zealand harbour, have unjustly remarked, that the favours of the married female can

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be obtained for a paltry object, at any period. Such statements are silly assumptions wholly without foundation. Such favours are as difficult of attainment as in any civilized country, the punishment of death being awarded as the penalty to either party infringing the marital bond, 4 which is tenaciously held as a sacred ordinance; in addition to loss of life, the horrid lust of cannibalism in general overtakes the culprit. Of late years this sanguinary code has received some amendment; an "utu " (damages) being accepted, which does away with the crime in some degree, though the female loses caste, and is known until her death as a wicked adulteress {puremu Kino .)

The passion of jealousy does hot much disturb the breast of a New Zealand husband; but this passion reigns paramount in that of the wife, who frequently has some dozen of causes to entertain the unpleasant feeling. This is caused by that bane of all social happiness--polygamy, whose evils appear to have been felt since the creation of man-

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kind, and has existed in New Zealand from the period of its earliest habitation by man, a custom introduced from Asia, the hot-bed of this taste for pluralities. This state of life, notwithstanding the antiquity of the habit, is greatly abhorred by the females of the country; unhappiness and incessant brawling is the sole benefit that accrues from, a society, all of whom feel it their interest to hold the greatest aversion to each other. Many of the chiefs have long since discovered that one wife in some instances is more than sufficient. On a chief marrying sisters, the eldest becomes the head wife, and should the husband leave his residence on an excursion likely to be prolonged, he is accompanied by one of his wives, or as it has frequently happened, when he leaves solus, he returns with an additional one, obtained from the village he has visited, who is inducted into the house as his wife. The life of an inferior wife (or rather slave) is the most miserable that can probably be conceived. They are deprived by the jealousy of the chief wife from all connubial enjoyment, and are literally the handmaids of the elder wives of their husband. Nuptial intercourse between these poor degraded creatures and their nominal husbands is rare, both parties being apprehensive of the jealousy of the head wives. Another cause of domestic annoyance is caused by the false machinations of the latter in attempting to instil into the mind of the polygamist, the unfaithfulness of the new comer; so that a

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scene of proving and disproving is continually being acted. Then the women become mutually jealous of their husband and each other; and, however comfortably the old patriarchs were enabled to manage their wives, the difficulty appears insurmountable in New Zealand.

Thus family quarrels become interminable, property becomes wasted in making presents to the thousand and one relatives of the women, while new claimants to bed and board are multiplied. It has moreover been found to be the primary cause of bloodshed and infanticide; and as long as it continues to be the custom of a country, domestic strife will be unceasing, and passions become engendered in the human breast, whose turbulence ends in irreconcileable hatred, bloodshed and unnatural confusion. Every man is allowed to have as many (or more) wives as he can maintain.

While residing on the banks of the river Maungamuka (river of the flax mountain) at Hokianga, frequent opportunities were afforded us of inquiring into the manners and opinions of this primitive people. In every instance they have willingly afforded every information that was inquired of them, and in cases where their knowledge was at fault, (as on the subject of religion and a future life) with much adroitness they substituted fables, that evinced a degree of mental capacity that at no distant period, will be the principal means of enabling them to break through the trammels of superstition

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and barbarism in which they have but scarcely begun to emerge.

Desirous of becoming acquainted with the manners of a native when obtaining a second wife, and preserving the new canditate for matrimonial honour from her infuriated companion, we requested of (Te) Wata, an influential chief of the district, how he was enabled to manage this seeming difficulty, as his first wife was known to be a firm disciple to the tenets of Xantippe, never rejecting a chance to show a temper, that would have sadly tried the meekness of a native Job. After demanding a piece of tobacco for the detention of his time, he was about to commence, when critically, he found his pipe had become unserviceable. After satisfying this new demand, he said, that he had married very young, and certainly passed some years very happily. Having thus discovered the pleasure that arose from marriage, in preference to celibacy, he suddenly felt determined to obtain a renewal of his delight, by doubling the pleasures of his life. This wish was accelerated by the sight of a beautiful girl who resided with her parents in a neighbouring village, who had taken without resistance the semi-divided heart of our informant, at a harvest-home (hakari ), where he had personally assisted. He accordingly made offers to the lady, who was desirous of settling in life, and nothing loth, he was accepted. Thus assured, the great difficulty was to break his intention to his spouse. Some time

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elapsed before he could gather courage to do so, and he commenced his manoeuvres by sounding her disposition, alluding to the subject in apparent jest, calling her his chief wife, (credula res amor est ) on which the lady laughed heartily; after a pause he grew bolder, (for he had the fear of ten talons before his eyes, with which nature had armed his antagonist) on which the dame flew into an ungovernable rage. On this, the wily chief pretended also to become similarly outrageous, professed himself unable to live happy with such a shrew, and finally told her, that, what he had originally spoken innocently in jest, he would put into execution. Here the narrator chuckled heartily, with evident satisfaction, at the recollection of his successful management. The lady fell into a paroxysm of tears, that would admit of no consolation. She expressed her determination of calling in her relations to interfere on the subject, on which her tormentor laughed, observing that he was only profiting by the example they had shown him. Yet, nevertheless, he felt many symptoms of alarm, as her friends were rich, so offered to compromise by giving her the best mats and dresses he possessed as renewed indications of his love, and promising before her relations, that her children only should have the inheritance of his property in land, canoes, arms, &c. The wife, perceiving that tears were fruitless, suppressed her anger, and attempted a more soothing method; but the sage was deaf to her

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solicitations, and held out, as he found the Rubicon was passed, and pretended that she had brought it on herself by her own unhappy temper; observing that his first remark was in jest, and the intention of changing their condition was wholly foreign to his thoughts, but now he felt determined to pursue his promise, being decided not to be henpecked like Kaitoke (a peaceable old soul whose wife habited the inexpressibles) who had been repeatedly the subject of laughter to them both. His next step was to try and gain her consent, but on this head, the afflicted lady preserved an inflexible dissent. He now essayed to coax in his turn, but she turned a deaf ear to all that he could say or invent; in vain he assured her of his indelible love, (as he was desirous of showing her friends that he had obtained a consent, in case they expressed themselves dissatisfied, as also to preserve peace in the house, which could never be obtained as long as her consent was withheld,) in this dilemma, he named several females, which his wife listened to with apparent apathy, until he slily mentioned one towards whom he knew his wife to bear an unappeasable animosity, a spirit of rivalry having formerly existed between them. At mentioning this long-hated name, the wife pronounced her veto with much bitterness, uttering execrations without exceptions against all her kindred; but the wary fowler having discovered the way to obtain his desires, stood out, that on that female he had fixed his wishes. In vain the wife

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stormed and raved, until, dissolving in tears, she promised to give her consent to any one rather than the rival he had proposed, who if suffered to enter the house, she felt determined to kill herself. After apparent self-affliction, he promised to forego the desires of his heart, and take Parre (who was the real object of his wishes) to which the wife gladly consented, rather than his taking her rival home, who (unknown to her) was equally the object of aversion to the skilful general.