1852 - Barrett, A. The Life of the Rev. John Hewgill Bumby - CHAPTER I. EARLY LIFE AND MINISTERIAL CALL.

       
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  1852 - Barrett, A. The Life of the Rev. John Hewgill Bumby - CHAPTER I. EARLY LIFE AND MINISTERIAL CALL.
 
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CHAPTER I. EARLY LIFE AND MINISTERIAL CALL.

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MEMORIALS

OF

THE REV. JOHN H. BUMBY.

CHAPTER I.

EARLY LIFE AND MINISTERIAL CALL.

As Mr. Wesley was proceeding on one of his northern journeys, in the year 1751, he halted awhile at Osmotherley, in the north of Yorkshire; and there, after his usual manner, bore a testimony for his Divine Master. Among the hearers were William Hewgill and a few other simple-minded and godly persons, who had walked nearly sixty miles from the village of Hawnby, for the purpose of enjoying the privilege of hearing the Gospel from the lips of the venerated evangelist. To their new-born souls the word came with refreshment and power; and on their obtaining an interview with Mr. Wesley, after the service, they induced him to give them a promise of visiting their village. He fulfilled this promise in the ensuing year.

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A Society had already been formed with his approbation, the members of which were walking in consistent holiness of life, though some of them, by the persecuting bigotry of the landlord, had been dispossessed of their habitations, and made in other ways to suffer shame and loss on account of their religious profession. This little band, however, maintained their meek fidelity, giving no just cause of offence; and the devotedness and zeal of Mrs. William Hewgill, in particular, were rewarded by the conversion of her daughter Mary, which took place when she was in her twentieth year.

It was one of those clear and strongly-marked conversions which were so frequently realised among the early Methodists. The Spirit's work was well defined; and the great change issued in the formation of a remarkably pure, elevated, and energetic character in this excellent young woman. In the year 1800 she lost her mother, her father having died when she was a child: in 1803, she became united in marriage to Mr. John Bumby, of Thirsk; and, removing to that town, she entered upon her new sphere and relation only to exemplify in a more influential manner that piety which had been tested by sorrow, and cherished by several years of a retired walk with God.

One of her children was John Hewgill Bumby, our well-remembered and departed

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friend, born November 17th, 1808. Gifted with a clear and discriminating understanding, and with attainments in knowledge which, in those days, were above the common lot, Mrs. Bumby brought great strength and firmness of principle, as well as depth of tenderness, to the training of her children; especially of this boy, who, from his childhood, was conscious of a strong attraction towards her. He was fond of reading; and this propensity she cherished, so far as it was consistent with his health and welfare: she gave it a right direction, and sought, above all, to lead him to a true knowledge of himself and of Christ; following every special effort by solemn and believing intercession, and taking hold on the baptismal covenant of God. It was under the influence and teaching of this parent, that the youth began to have serious thoughts respecting the evil of his own carnal nature, and the misery resulting from the want of a conscious salvation from the guilt and dominion of sin. As the Wesleyan Ministers in their journeys frequently abode a day or more in the house of his parents, and he had the opportunity of hearing the conversation, and joining in the prayers, of these devout and laborious servants of Christ, his impressions of the importance and loveliness of vital religion were greatly deepened by these means.

Religious thoughtfulness, likewise, seemed to

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call forth a peculiar power of thought on all subjects which were presented to his mind; and thus his inquiries respecting the objects of nature, the facts of history, and the theme of his daily reading, were often more close and searching than could be readily answered. He was as susceptible of impressions from the beauty or grandeur of natural scenery, as he was liable to fits of musing on those matters of deep concern which were stirring his boyish heart to its very centre; and he was in consequence frequently known, in these abstract moments, to fall from his pony, while riding through some of the most interesting districts of the north of Yorkshire in company with his father. One of the Preachers who visited at his father's house, had been employed on foreign stations; and John listened with the deepest interest to his details, both of the scenes which he had passed through, and the progress of the Gospel by his instrumentality.

In the year 1823, the Rev. John Sedgwick was appointed to the Superintendent's charge of the Thirsk Circuit; and it was in this year, and under the ministry of this laborious servant of Christ, that John found conscious peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. His deep concern and penitential distress had for some time previously been increasing; and now, laying hold on the sinner's only Hope,--especially

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in a most solemn and anxious hour, when the Holy Spirit, with more than wonted light and power, revealed Christ to him as a present Saviour,--exercising "faith in His blood," he obtained the long-desired pardon, and entered into pacific covenant with his reconciled God and Father. He has left no special record of the exercises of his mind at this period, nor of the process by which his sorrow was turned into joy; but by his friends the change could not be either unnoticed or mistaken. Instead of guilt, he had now a peaceful conscience; instead of labouring in an impotent struggle against sin, he was conscious of a new and loving obedience, through the love of God shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Ghost given unto him; and, instead of the fear of wrath, the hope of heaven. Still it would be unreasonable to expect, that, at this time, in his fifteenth year, a thoroughly harmonised character could be formed, or even a course of unbroken spirituality. The foundation was laid for the work of sanctification; but that work had henceforth to be carried on. There were occasionally outbreaks of natural impetuosity, when an impulsive cause was present; acts of imprudence, resulting from the too prompt dictation of an easily excited temperament; over-strong expressions of love and hate, in reference to different objects, from the same cause; and instances of

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practical playfulness, in friendly and retired circles, which were often carried too far; to put down or destroy which, not merely a spiritual conversion, but a physical miracle, would be required. It was his merciful lot that he had a buoyant and healthful youth; but he was of that highly delicate organization, which is so generally connected with mental tenderness and power commingled, that a seed of sorrow was likely to exist in this source, the fruit of which would be a sufficient sedative against natural extravagances; whilst, most of all, the work of regeneration in his heart was so strong and clear, and his desire for communion with God so intense, that it was not likely he would rest without attaining to all inward and outward holiness. To what extent his closet was his confessional, is only known to God. Those who have passed through the hazardous period of the teens, conscious of undefined and undeveloped power, without seeing any sphere for it, and surrounded by all the temptations of youth, are best able to approach this subject. Bitter tears for sins of omission, for inward sins, and guilty yieldings in various forms to the tempter, cast us then in faith upon the compassion of Him whose blood is the propitiation for our sins, as well as for the sins of the ungodly world. At the same time let it be clearly understood, that John never departed from the Guide

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of his youth, forsook the covenant of his God, nor in the least degree dishonoured the profession which he made. He was known as the honest, frank, warm-hearted Methodist youth; and although the profane might scoff and jeer, none could point at him as either insincere or blameworthy. His very earnestness commanded respect. Within two years after his conversion, during which time his spiritual life was growing more intense and principled, he became deeply affected with the danger and misery of unconverted sinners; and began to cherish corresponding desires to save them. In the more retired walks of Christian usefulness, he had already taken a part; but now his love of the holy Scriptures, and his delight in meditating on them, became so apparent, as well as the fluent and impassioned utterance to his friends of his thoughts as to the truths which they revealed, that they could not but think, with several others, that a higher course awaited him. There were many facilities in a large rural Circuit for exercising the gifts of a pious and zealous youth. Numerous villages, especially where the Gospel was not preached in the parish churches, needed the regular administration of evangelical truth; and the number of lay-brethren who assisted the Ministers to supply them was not too great; and, therefore, under proper sanction, our young friend was urged to go to one of these

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places, and take the service. He went with fear and trembling, borne along by what he believed to be an all-commanding authority. His spiritual father and friend, Mr. Sedgwick, then in the third year of his pastorship of the Circuit, was present. John preached from John iii. 16: "God so loved the world, that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life;"--a judicious selection for a youth, though, in another aspect, a text, O how far too difficult for an angel!--and proceeded through the exercise in a way which excited the gratitude and surprise of the Minister in question. He believed that God had a gracious design with regard to the lad; and, that this matter might be more fully tested, he made the usual arrangements for John to become a probationary, and then an accepted, Local Preacher: in which capacity he eventually addressed and exhorted the rural congregations around, with great and growing acceptance. A question here might arise, as to whether all this was not premature. Most sober Christians would undoubtedly say, he was yet too young to attempt public instruction, for that he could not yet know much either of his own heart or that of others. It is true, likewise, that his education was yet imperfect, being limited to what the town in which he resided would afford; and, upon the

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whole, the writer would incline to the belief, that the prolongation of his retirement through a few more years of studious and practical preparation in other departments of Christian toil, would have rendered his first public efforts more healthy, and perhaps have saved him from much subsequent mental suffering.

These views, it is true, are somewhat modified, when we remember his brief career: we feel as though we could hardly wish he had preached one sermon less. In the period of his youth, there was great demand for the zealous promulgation of simple Gospel truth; and, perhaps, too great a disposition unduly to force onward precocious talent: since then, sterner times have come upon us. John, however, was superior to most of the members of his congregations even in knowledge and culture; and he possessed a native elegance and beautifying faculty of mind, which placed his attainments, such as they were, in the most advantageous point of view: besides, as he dwelt on the main themes of practical Christianity, repentance, faith, and holiness, without venturing then on anything like varied and profound teaching, the simple-minded and good of all ages heard him with interest, and not unfrequently with profit. Exercising his gifts in this way, he began to feel an intense interest in his Bible, and throughout the day would ponder, even to

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the interruption of his duties in business, some passage of beauty or power which had been brought or suggested to his mind, until he believed he had an adequate comprehension of its meaning; and this led the way, in connexion with his real compassion for perishing sinners, to the awakening of a desire within him to be fully separated to the work of the ministry. He was too conscientious, too dutiful a son, absolutely to neglect assisting his father in the sphere of life in which Providence had placed the family; but his heart began to be secretly set upon another matter. As the Apostle Paul was separated by providential designation and training, even from his mother's womb, before he received his actual call; so, if we may quote a minor instance, it was with John Bumby. His soul was as much moulded, though the moulding process had only just begun, for preaching and teaching Christ, as the souls of other men were for commercial enterprise, and the energetic struggles of secular life. The hand of the Lord was upon him. As we learn from a collation of places in the New Testament, that Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are severally concerned in the calling and appointment of Pastors and teachers in the church; (1 Cor. xii. 28; Matt. xx. 23; Eph. iv. 11; Acts xx. 28;) so this constituted order of operation seemed to be realised in him: for the

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work of the Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, separately considered, seemed to point to one ultimate intention. How wondrous, and yet how infinitely wise, are the dealings of God with His obedient children! While drawing them on towards a momentous issue, He preserves their present relations unbroken. Unlike the ancient prophetic impulses, which were sudden and irresistible, the call of the Christian Minister is an attraction of a gentler kind, and stands more in connexion with gifts improved, and with growth in grace. All is simple, and, speaking after the manner of men, natural. The servant who is faithful in little, receives more; that is, more of constraining inward desire, and more of gifts and qualifications too.

A conviction so deep could not long be kept secret; and, in particular, it was imparted to his pious and judicious mother: through her medium, and in other ways, it was at length made known to his father; when John had the sorrow and discouragement of finding that he was likely to be met with opposition. Mr. Bumby viewed the proposal more at first as a family question, than in the light of Christian responsibility: he evidently dreaded the idea of losing his son's society, and perhaps did not well understand at first how strong and uniform were his convictions. About the close of

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the year 1826 John visited his ministerial friend, the Rev. John Sedgwick, at Barton-upon-Humber, where he frequently conferred with him on the subject nearest to his heart, and also occasionally took a service in his stead. In a letter which Mr. Sedgwick addressed to Mr. Bumby, dated January 10th, 1827, there is the following expression: "Your son is a wonder already; and if he continue to live to God, as I trust he will, he will become one of our most acceptable and useful Preachers." And after stating that, under John's first sermon at Barton, one person was thoroughly awakened, and several others were graciously affected, he adds, "I have no doubt but that religion and good sense will teach him all necessary obedience to you and Mrs. Bumby; but my opinion is, that the Lord designs him in a year or two to be fully given up to the ministry; and I therefore beg you will, as far as may be consistent with a moderate attention to business, let him have every opportunity for improving his mind. By so doing you will glorify God, who has honoured you in your son." This letter, from a Minister who was so respected, must have made some impression. On his return home our friend became more than ever absorbed in contemplating the one great theme of his life; and, knowing his own liability to excitement, and fearing to risk any-

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thing of the kind in a conversation with his father, he addressed to him the following letter: it bears no date, but must have been written in the early part of 1827:--

HONOURED AND DEAR FATHER,
YOU will doubtless be surprised at my using this mode of address to you, with whom I have the opportunity of conversing daily. But as it is a matter of infinite importance I am about to communicate, and as I thought I could write more freely than speak on the subject, I have chosen to adopt this plan in preference to a private and personal interview. But before I proceed any further, I must beg that you will do me the favour to prostrate yourself before an all-wise and all-gracious God, in order that you may know how to act in reference to what follows.

You must know then, honoured father, that from the most early part of my life it has been impressed upon my mind, that I should sooner or later be called to labour in the vineyard of the Lord. Of late the impression has been yet more powerful; and I am fully convinced that I am called by that God, whose I am and whom I serve,

"To save poor souls out of the fire,
And snatch them from the verge of hell;"

and sooner let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, let my right hand forget her cunning, let my body sink into the darkness of the tomb, than let me restrain the Spirit's course within me.

If I should be "disobedient to the heavenly vision," whatever you might think of me, the Lord would surely say, "Thou wicked and slothful servant." But I must adopt the language of the Apostle, and say, "A dispensa-

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tion of the Gospel is committed unto me," and "woe is unto me if I preach not the Gospel."

And now, perhaps, my father has no objection to his son's being a Minister of the Lord Jesus Christ: yet I know the feelings of human nature. You think that I, being an only son, should be the staff and comfort of your old age; you think that a pious son should always obey his father. But (O pardon me!) where the will even of a dear and much-loved parent is contrary to the will of God, I must in such a situation "obey God rather than man." I am encouraged to hope that my design will not be contrary to the approbation of my father: and, as I do not intend to go out for two or three years, I have a particular favour to ask of you. It is that you will expend a few more pounds upon my education. I should very much like to go to ------ for a few months; and as my going depends entirely upon my father, and must stand or fall with his approbation, I shall cheerfully acquiesce in my fate, whatever it may be. But O let me go! You will never be a penny the poorer for it; for God will restore you fourfold. I want my father's consent, paternal blessing, and assistance..........I cannot endure the thought of having to answer for the blood of the souls I might be the instrument of saving,--of being lost for ever, because I was disobedient to the call of God. Sooner will I weep my life away than act thus.

"I would the precious time redeem,
And longer live for this alone,
To spend, and to be spent, for them
Who have not yet my Saviour known."

And now be pleased to let me know your will and pleasure as soon as possible.
I am, honoured father,
Your affectionate son, (in great suspense,)
JOHN BUMBY.

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His father could not offer any further resistance. He consented to release his son from the claims of business, and send him, as a select student and boarder, to an academy in Leeds, where he might devote all his time to the acquisition of knowledge, and mental culture. John now seemed to breathe more freely; and in a letter written about this time there is some such expression as this: "Best of fathers! how mysterious are the dispensations of Divine Providence! Who would have thought that I, a little naughty, ignorant, rebellious lad, should look forward to be raised to the honourable and matchless office of an ambassador of Christ, a herald of the Cross, a watchman on the walls of Jerusalem?......O father! truly 'he that winneth souls is wise,' and 'they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.' To this I would aspire, for this I would live, for this I would die."

And yet the period of his residence in Leeds was not a happy one. Soon after his arrival there, dissensions arose in the Wesleyan Societies of that populous and flourishing town, which issued in the memorable schism of 1828. The professed cause was the introduction of an organ into the large chapel recently erected, contrary, it was said, to the wishes and opi-

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nions of some of the office-bearers; but the real cause lay much deeper, and was nothing else than a secret enmity to the mild and guarded, but firm, pastoral government which was exercised over the Societies by the Wesleyan Ministers, in fulfilment of the trust committed to them by the Founder, in his constitution of the Conference. A tendency to civil democracy had infected some of the less spiritually-minded members with false notions of their position and importance; disappointed ambition, with respect to others, had infused a practical bitterness into their spirit, and a willingness to coalesce with any whose object should be to degrade the ministry, and magnify the subordinate officers. Meetings which were intended for the spiritual regulation and adjustment of the affairs of God's people, were turned into scenes of acrimonious debate and strife; young men of two or three and twenty deemed themselves called to humble and reform venerable and, in some instances, truly learned men, who were as rich in Christian graces as they were in ministerial experience. The best part of the Society wept and prayed in secret; but they could not meet the violence and calumnies of the bitter and misguided with like weapons of warfare, and were obliged to wait the result.

John Bumby and another youth, a student

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like-minded with himself, belonged to a class which was scattered by disaffection; and although they could not then form an adequate judgment on all the questions brought at that time into controversy, they knew the deferential disposition of heart which the law of the Lord Jesus Christ required of them, in respect to a ministry which had been the means of their salvation and conservation; and they were enabled, too, to mark the meek, Christian, and forbearing spirit of the Ministers and of their lay fellow-helpers, in contrast with the spirit of those who, to gain selfish purposes, would lay everything sacred low. The two youths, in the midst of the storm, waited upon the Rev. Edmund Grindrod, received from his hands their regular quarterly ticket, together with his fatherly admonition and benediction: they felt powerfully drawn towards that eminent but then deeply-tried Pastor, and from his teaching obtained principles and counsels which tended in no small degree to form their character for life. That other youth now fills an eminent place in the living ministry. An extensive division took place: the people that were left were united more closely by their trials, and unexampled prosperity followed. It is with sorrow the Wesleyan of the present day reflects that similar scenes have been witnessed since; that is, the reviviscence of the same spirit, the

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same practical manifestations, the same damage to blood-bought souls: though he must likewise remember, in mitigation of his sorrow, that so far they have been followed by similarly enlarged and gracious results.

As was just observed above, John did not stay here very long; for in 1829 we find him again at his father's house, dividing his time between application to study, and brief excursions into neighbouring Circuits at the call of needy and over-worked labourers, or of Missionary Committees. At the Meetings of Juvenile Associations he was then particularly acceptable: his eloquence was very florid and impassioned, and there was something about his delicate youthfulness and unquestioned piety which awakened great interest.

On one occasion he was invited to attend and aid at a meeting of this kind in one of the large towns in the East Riding of Yorkshire. The congregation was numerous and respectable. Our friend experienced much excitement and perturbation on the occasion. He had not brought himself there; but being drawn on by others, who felt concern for the perishing Heathen, he felt constrained to brace himself up, and use his powers in the best way for the advancement of the cause. When he was called upon to speak, he commenced a strain of declamation which nothing but a heart that

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knew the love of Christ could sustain; yet it was conceived in such false taste, that he utterly missed his own real mark. Every form of trope, apostrophe, interjection, and appeal hurried along in rapid confusion, accompanied by the most earnest action, till the speaker literally panted for breath, and after an address of twenty minutes sat down exhausted. The effect on the congregation was not happy. Many regarded the whole affair as a piece of display: this it was not: his best friends know that he had as little of vanity as usually falls to the lot of those who obtain any public notice at the dangerous age of nineteen or twenty. It was simply the result of a great but ill-judged effort to meet what he deemed a momentous duty. If any persons were to receive blame, it should be those who had advised and urged on thus prematurely these too exciting and responsible exercises: whatever may be said as to his early efforts among village congregations, it cannot be doubted, that tasks like these involved a too severe strain upon the immature judgment, unfurnished experience, and undeveloped physical strength of a very young man. The remarks apply not to John Bumby only: there were other young men in the same predicament with himself. It was then the fashion to force out at once the gifts and talents of hopeful Christian youth. Our young friend perceived

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the failure of his speech at the time; and the next day, partly by the reserve of his friends on the subject, and partly by several sinister intimations, he became acquainted with the extent of the disappointment. His pain and mortification were extreme; but his humility bore the test. He bowed before the Lord in private, and asked for mercy and direction. Whether he had much cause or little, he loathed himself in the presence of Infinite Wisdom and Purity. Many would have fled from the spot immediately; but he remained to take a quiet service on the Sabbath afternoon, and preached a sermon remarkable for its modesty and humility. This event, there is reason to believe, was made a great blessing to him. All our best lessons are learned in the greatest pain. His own mature judgment was entirely on the side of the thoughts which are here recorded.

And now he was awaiting his providential call. His health was decidedly delicate; his constitution, which was never strong, had suffered from this too frequent demand upon both body and mind; and delicate health is a serious matter to a candidate for the Wesleyan ministry, than which there is not, perhaps, a more laborious vocation on earth. This circumstance created a little difficulty in the deliberations of the York District-Meeting, before

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which, in May, 1829, he had to appear, to undergo his first examination: but the assembled Ministers were so convinced that the Lord had called him, so willing to hope that his health might be strengthened and established by judicious treatment, and so satisfied with his examination in general, that he was fully recommended to the Conference as a candidate, in the usual way. In August he was accepted, and placed upon the List of Reserve for probationers.

But, like many other of God's chosen instruments, he became fearful, as his understanding opened, and his conscience became more tender, lest he should be determining his own course, and mistaking a selfish inclination for the call of God. The Spirit's inward impulse and monition seldom take such a form as to shut out all possibility of spiritual and moral conflict, inasmuch as this kind of conflict may have to subserve many valuable purposes in the course of individual sanctification. A few sentences of his own will disclose the state of his mind at this time:--

March 2d, 1829.--I preached twice yesterday at Gainsborough: the congregations good, especially in the evening, when I had a good time in addressing the young. O that some good may be the result! I feel this morning not very well: my breast is more painful than it has been for some time. The Lord grant to me strength according to my day! O that I may walk in a

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right path! and neither "full direction need," nor "miss my providential way!" The design of the various providential dispensations of God towards me, I cannot develope; but, doubtless, all will be cleared up at last. Lord, help me to watch and pray, and to examine myself; to devote this day to Thy service! What a hard heart I must have! O break it by Thy grace, and melt it by Thy love!

Thirsk, June 3d.--I have been to the District-Meeting at York, and got through that ordeal.........I trust that, if I am called to preach the Gospel,--and that I am I have no doubt,--a path will be opened for me providentially into the full employment of the work of the ministry; but O for more piety! I am so dull and dead, so worldly-minded and earth-bound, so trifling and careless, that I am sometimes led, or tempted, to think that I am destitute of the vital spark,--the life of God. Yet still, upon examination, I feel that I have a sure trust and confidence in God through Christ; and that I am a member of His family, and a partaker of His grace. O had I proceeded as I commenced the Christian race, how different a being should I have been from what at this time I actually am! What Christian devotedness, fervent spirituality, and scrupulous conscientiousness! O Lord, be merciful, be merciful to me, and heal my soul! I do determine now, in the name of that Being, in whose solemn and heart-searching presence I am, from henceforth to live as I have never done before,--to live to God, and to God alone. The vows of God are upon me. I must be about my Father's business. Amen.

August 6th.--It is now the time of Conference; and though many of my friends have expected that I should get an immediate appointment, yet there is no such news, nor do I expect any. I feel perfectly passive, and think, with the medical men whom I have consulted, that a respite from preaching for a few weeks would be of

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essential service to my establishment in health..........O that the Lord would be my Guide and Director! I heard the other day, that I am received upon the List of Reserve. O how responsible is the care of souls! how awful is the work of the ministry! May the Lord give me His Spirit, and grant that my sufficiency may be of God! I have given myself to the church. God of my fathers, be my God!

At this time it was suggested by some of his friends, that it might be advantageous for him to study for a season at Edinburgh; but he never saw it to be the path of duty, though it occasioned him much perplexity and anxiety. To this he refers in the following extract:--

August 26th.--I have written to Mr. Lessey, inquiring his mind as to the Edinburgh project, and have also requested Mr. Kirk to consult and give me Mr. Bunting's views on the scheme; and as they decide, I intend to act, if there is a providential opening. I have made, and shall continue to make, it matter of earnest prayer. I should certainly prefer going out under one of the Preachers, (according to the preparatory plan proposed at the last Conference,) as the cost would be less, for one thing, even if I bore my own expenses, which did not enter into their plan. O that God would direct my path! No one knows what I feel but God alone,--what is the agony of my mind occasionally. I examine myself: I want not to go into the work for gain, for riches, "for a morsel of bread." God forbid! O that I could see the path in which I am to walk! but it is lost in mists, it is hid in darkness. If I could reconcile my mind to the thing, I would go into business; but there are the clamours of conscience. I am called to "walk by faith, and not by sight." But O, I am so unfaithful,

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so sinful, so miserable! If there were a place lower than the dust, gladly would I take it as my station..........But there is Jesus. In Jesus Christ the Father is well pleased, and in Him I take refuge as my sanctuary. O boundless grace!

"'Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For, O my God, it found out me!"

Mr. Lessey appears to have been favourable to the Edinburgh plan; but the record continues:--

August 29th.--Still I continue to have doubts upon my mind as to the hand of Providence in the matter..........O I would not miss my providential way for worlds! I am sometimes afraid that I have run before I was sent. It is true I have had fruit of my labours: but still that is not a sufficient proof of one's call; for what is the meaning of that passage in Matthew, where it is said, "Many shall say unto me, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Thy name?" &c., but a statement that it is possible for those who have not been sent of God, to be instrumental in the salvation of sinners ? Still I cannot give up the belief that I am called. I have been thinking, that, if I do not go out before or at the next Conference, I ought to take it as a proof that it is my duty to go into business. Yet I dare not so determine.

August 31st.--I am a wonder to myself. I cannot tell how it is, that the people in general seem to think and speak so well of me, who am nothing, and who comparatively know nothing, dust and ashes, sin, ignorance, and misery..........O that I may never disgrace my Christian profession! My soul trembles and shakes to its very centre while I think of the possibility of so doing. Nothing, I know, but Omnipotence can prevent it. Into Thy hands I commit my cause, O God!

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September 19th.--O that I knew the designs of God towards me! But no, I check myself: it is wrong. It is mine to trust; and He who has hitherto sustained me, shall keep me to the end. I want a spirit of entire and uninterrupted dependence upon God.

22d.--I see it is very possible to be a Preacher without being a Divine; and I therefore determine to use intense application in the pursuit of that knowledge which will enable me, with readiness and ease, to give to every one "a reason of the hope that is in me."

In this spirit he continued to improve his leisure, through the year commencing with the Conference of 1829. His knowledge of the Greek and Latin languages, one would judge from collateral circumstances, though nothing occurred particularly to test this point, was not much more than rudimental; but his acquaintance with history was considerable, and his love of the holy Scriptures most ardent. He thirsted for sacred knowledge, yet chiefly for knowledge of that kind which ministered to the affections of impassioned piety. His studies for life now began to take their peculiar type, and to fulfil their part in the formation of his ministerial character. Now, also, in his own personal spiritual life, he had begun more fully and painfully to fight "the good fight of faith;" that is, he was becoming better acquainted with himself, with the conquered but still existing struggles of the carnal mind, and more liable, from his position, to the assaults

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of the adversary of souls. He had not, like many others, found his way to the blessing of justification and peace with God through months and years of bitter darkness and distress, where the soul has such a sense of the misery and curse of unpardoned sin, that the memory and influence of this bitterness seem to last through life; and where the subsequent joy in God preserves the full force of its contrast in coeval measure. Being so well trained in his childhood and early youth, both by his mother and by pastoral teaching, in the doctrines of repentance and faith in Christ crucified, he had simply to wait till his knowledge became vital and practical, until it should stir his heart to its very depths, as well as inform his understanding and affect his creed. And, therefore, when the Holy Spirit, whose prevenient grace had been so far improved, made known to John his guilt and misery, turning his cold convictions into a real (and, for a short season, alarming) burden of distress; he saw, almost as soon, the sinner's only Refuge, and clung to Him; confiding in His sacrificial blood, and closing with Him as a present Saviour. The malady and the cure were apprehended almost at the same time, insomuch that he had not then a complete view of the wretchedness and danger of the one, or of the glory and fulness of the other. The lesson was now opening

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before him. Where the early conflicts of many Christians were in a good part terminated, his were beginning. He had incipient faith, faith wrought by the operation of the Holy Spirit, such as he could not cherish or exercise before he became a true penitent, quite in such a living form and sufficient amount as to disprove the semi-Pelagian notion, that the believing which justifies is a naturally possessed faculty; and this brought to him, through the same Spirit as the Spirit of adoption, a comfortable sense of the favour of his heavenly Father; but as far as "tribulation worketh patience, and patience experience, and experience hope, and hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God is [more abundantly] shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost given unto us,"--all this he had yet practically to learn. He heard the warning trumpet, and prepared himself for the battle; not only as a standard-bearer in Christ's army, but as one among the thousands of struggling souls who, for their own sakes, are contending for the faith which was once delivered to the saints.

A few months after the Conference just mentioned, he was summoned by private arrangement to supply for a while the place of the Rev. Thomas H. Squance, in the Hull Circuit, whose health had failed. He had here the advantage of a brief association in labour with

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his revered friend and former Pastor, the Rev. Edmund Grindrod, who was Superintendent of the Circuit; and viewed with the greatest admiration and profit the mingled firmness and benignity with which the spiritual affairs of the Societies were administered under his hands. John learned here how to obey, and thus became possessed of the first qualification of one who might hereafter become called upon to rule. It was at this time the writer had the opportunity of hearing him preach one Lord's-day morning at George-yard chapel. The subject was the Sabbath, and taken from the vision of the beloved disciple in the Apocalypse: "I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day." (Rev. i. 10.) His manner was serious and becoming; he was so far recollected as to be able to do justice to his feelings by giving due emphasis to the emphatic portions of the beautiful hymns which he had selected, and in prayer he was humble and earnest, though deficient in that intercessory fulness which he afterwards attained,--the lack of which in some Ministers makes a litany so desirable, and cannot be supplied without greater knowledge and a larger heart. The opening of the sermon was natural and modest, being a kind of outline-exposition of the vision and its attendant circumstances; the main substance consisted of an historical view of the sabbatical institution, with its adaptation

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to the wants of mankind in succeeding ages, and also its divinely-appointed and necessary connexion with the means of grace and salvation, and the upholding of belief in revealed religion. The teaching part of the sermon, though coherent and clear, was not so full and complete as he might have made it, had it been wrought out more in detail in his previous meditations; there was an evident desire to hasten on to practical conclusions: but as he approached the application, his natural impetuosity became more apparent; and then, as he alluded to the atrocities of the atheistic French Revolution, and the misery of all Sabbathless men, living and dying in sin, his complexion, delicately fair, glowed with mingled tenderness and awe; his eye kindled into unwonted lustre, his voice arose; and though his appeals were clothed in exuberant rhetoric, yet they were powerful and startling in their effect, because they came from the heart, and were uttered under the Spirit's own unction. His descant upon the Sabbath of heaven was peculiarly happy, and he quoted the well-known lines,--

"O glorious hour! O blest abode!
I shall be near and like my God,"

in a tone and manner which convinced his hearers, that even then he had begun to cherish that love of the better country which is

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so sure a sign of a regenerate condition. Still this exercise did not so much indicate what he was, as what he was likely to be. His day, if we may speak so, was brief, and his hours of transition from stage to stage of characteristic and spiritual improvement hastened rapidly along.

At the Conference of 1830, he received in the usual manner an appointment to the Waltham-Abbey Circuit, near London, as a ministerial candidate. As he had expected to receive his summons at this time, his arrangements for leaving home were soon made; and with a heart panting after the hallowed toil of the ministry, though chastened with many misgivings as to his fitness for it, he set out to commence his regular and momentous probation.


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